Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Poop Travels

Because of previous poop incidences involving our Jumperoo I don't put Wendy in it till she's had a significant bowl movement, but this morning she was in one thing after another, slowly destroying our lives, so with the thought in my head of her poop less morning diaper I put her in the Jumperoo "Jail". After finishing my morning chores I sat down for some computer therapy when I smelled something icky, "WENDY POOP!!" I picked her up immediately, smelled the bum and indeed there was fecal matter present. I laid her down, took off her diaper and there was poop on my hand, "What? Where did that come from?"............then all the sudden IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On my hands, on Wendy's hands, Wendy's feet, Wendy's legs, the Jumperpoo, the carpet under the Jumperoo, the carpet where we had walked, the carpet under her diaper and inexplicably on Ruth's shirt. AND THE WIPES WERE GONE!!!!! I just screamed, "RUTH! Don't move!!" So she froze in the Universal Child Freeze Pose a large X. It's like, "If I can't move I must take up as much space as is humanly possible." I also froze in sheer panic. What to do?! How do I deal with this?! All the while watching Wendy rub that poop into her hands like it's some gourmet hand cream because my hands are currently holding her poopy bum/legs/feet off me and the carpet. Where are the closest wipes? My bag. In the hall. Holding Wendy by one ankle, she's cool with it cause there's poop to play with, I help Ruth take her shirt off and instruct her to get on the couch and stay there. Rummage through the bag trying not to spread poop on it. Wipe, Wipe, Wipe and then quick bath.

My hypothesis is Wendy pooped, it leaked onto the carpet where she jumped up and down vigorously. I picked her up, it dripped onto the carpet, I layed her down removed the diaper during which she grabbed her feet transferring poop to her hands. Poop from the legs transfers to my hands, diaper poops the carpet. Ruth lays on the Jumperoo somehow getting it on her shirt. And there you go.

Thank you again Lyle and Susanne for the Christmas of Amazon Cards, with out which we would not have our carpet shampooer:)

the end.

I figured out how the poop got on Ruth's shirt. About an hour ago she said, "Mom, what is this?" and handed me what looked like a piece of dried up avacado. Smelled it. Nope. It's poop. "Where did you get this?", "On tha beer." When I picked up Wendy a poop droplet landed on the Jumperoo Bear toy thing, so when Ruth jumped on it......and so on.

I shampooed, washed and cleaned everything with poop on it, and yet I feel like at any moment poop could appear out of nowhere to destroy my life.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Happenings

-Mike and I are in the market for a new real estate agent due to an unfortunate incident with our ex-real estate agent. Get us in a house!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Wendy's pulling herself up into a standing position on the couch, in her packnplay and pretty much anything that will hold still long enough.
-Ruth's talking gets clearer everyday. Her knew favorite saying is, "No thanks." Which she thinks should get her a pass on anything she doesn't want to do. "Ruth, you need to eat your sandwich.", "No thanks!" How polite.
-Wendy is an octopus!!! It takes my entire body to pin her down so I can put on a sock! Forget about diapers.
-Mike starts school this week. I think he may be a life long student.
-I ruined a brand new shirt I was altering. Thankfully it was $5.
-I introduced Ruth to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers this week. Now I want every musical ever made! Much more preferable to cartoons.
-What's happening with the Colbalt you ask? NO IDEA! (wrecked months ago, no news from insurance agent)
-Wendy's currently perfecting an impression of Popeye. I'm trying to catch a picture of it which will be posted.
-Why why why does Ruth think the day starts at 6am? I'm blaming it on Day Light Savings.

and that's it.